ADVICE: AUNTIE AGNI

Dear Auntie,
I am in a fix.
I’m a male and my female teammate approached me for help. She told me that her friend is being sexually and verbally harassed by her boss, but she is afraid of reporting the harassment because, in her eyes, she is dependent on him for professional tasks.
The boss happens to be my trustworthy fellow for decades. A conversation revealed that his team member, or the stated victim, herself coerces him into giving her time and attention. She also travels in his car whenever required, which I have also witnessed. At the same time, she levels horrible allegations against him in her inner group and he is unaware of these allegations.
I am in a quandary as to whom should I trust, as I have also known my teammate, who first told me of the situation, for years. At times, it feels like the female is playing a double game, but I can’t rule out the possibility that she’s actually victimised and helpless. Our HR has a zero-tolerance policy for such cases, but the department requires that the alleged victim report the issue directly.
For now, I have suggested to my teammate to explore why such offences are being tolerated, even if they come alongside work-related help. Given my deep sense of workplace dignity, I feel obliged to do something, lest it grows into more serious trouble, but I need your guidance on how to report this issue prudently.
Thanks,
In-between 
Dear In-between,
This is indeed a sensitive issue. Given the complex nature of your issue, it’s essential that you proceed cautiously and ensure that any actions taken are both fair and aligned with your workplace policies.
Since your HR has a zero-tolerance policy, you should encourage the alleged victim to report the incident herself. It’s crucial that she documents her experiences and follows the proper channels. This not only helps her, but also ensures that the process is transparent.
Given your own relationship with her boss, you could have a discreet conversation with him. You don’t need to disclose details, but you could gauge his perspective on the situation and discreetly stress on the importance of maintaining professional boundaries.
Keep a record of what you’ve observed, but be sure to remain impartial. Documenting your observations will be helpful if you’re later asked to provide input or if the situation worsens.
It’s very important that you not take sides prematurely. The situation could be more complex than it seems and workplace dynamics can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or miscommunications.
If you feel like you have to do something, you could discuss the situation hypothetically with HR. Without naming names, you could ask for their advice on how to handle such situations and how they would proceed.
You are not going to investigate the issue by yourself. Instead you are simply helping ensure that the appropriate processes are followed. Protecting the integrity of your workplace and ensuring that everyone is treated fairly is paramount.
I hope the matter is resolved soon.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: [email protected]
Published in Dawn, EOS, August 18th, 2024